Oh, before I get started; I saw
Shopgirl last night. I really enjoyed it. Some less sentimental than me might think the anxiety attack scene is a little heavy-handed or melodramatic, but for me, it was a scarily apt depiction. I should read the novella again.
Now, I’ve been temping at the uni book shop. Since it’s the start of a new year, they need crowd control. No, really. So my job is to stand outside, make people queue up when the queues inside get too long and the place gets too full. Also, I have to make sure people follow the policy of leaving their bags on the shelves just inside the shop. Also, I have to let my friends in ahead of the queue, because I’m dodgy.
BSDB: Me
Scene 1: BSDB and the Very Frequent Scenario
B.MOC (or group thereof) walk up to the queue; look at BSDB at the head of said queue.
B.MOC: Is that the queue? To get in?
BSDB: …yes.
No, it’s the queue right outside the bookshop for people who enjoy queues. Have you signed up for the Queue Appreciation Club? Or QAC? Our mascot is a duck. Wankhole.
This wouldn’t be too bad, but for the fact that I’m asked this every five minutes on a six-hour shift.
But at least they ask.
Scene 2: BSDB and the Oblivious Masses
Student (nine out of ten times an Asian ESL student, just saying)
Student walks between the twenty-metre-long queue and BSDB. Student goes to walk into bookshop.
BSDB Excuse me? EXCUSE ME? HEY!
BSDB sticks her hand out in front of student. Student looks quizzical and annoyed
BSDB:Sorry, there’s a queue
(off Student’s puzzled looks) A queue? See? Sorry…
HOW DO THEY NOT SEE THE QUEUE?
WHY DO THEY STEP OVER THE DOZENS OF BAGS, HANDBAGS, SATCHELS, BACKPACKS AND SHOPPING BAGS AND ASSUME IT’S OK TO TAKE IN THEIR HUGE BAG? WHY DO THEY THEN GIVE ME GRIEF WHEN I HAVE TO CHASE THEM INTO THE STORE AND ASK THEM TO PUT THEIR BAG DOWN?
AND
WHO THE FUCK TAKES THEIR PARENTS TO UNI?
Scene 3: BSDB and the Angry Mother
BSDB: Excuse me? Hi, sorry, can I just get you to leave your bag on the shelf please?
AM: But this is a personal bag!
BSDB: … yes, sorry, all large bags
[this was a huge ‘un] must be left here, I’m sorry
AM: but it has my wallet in it!
BSDB:… … … … take it… out?
AM: it has my phone in it, too! And –
valuables
BSDB: No worries, you can use one of our baskets right there. Theoretically, you can empty your whole bag out and put it into the basket, it’s just that we don’t allow bags into the shop. I’m sorry, as you can see, it’s not a personal attack or anything, the rules do apply to everyone.
AM: *cough splutter but but but*
BSDB: ….
AM: takes her wallet and phone and puts the fucking bag with the rest
Also, you know what’s fun? ‘Someone’s stolen my bag! It’s not here! It’s gone! It’s been stolen! It was just – oh, here it is.’
But the crappy little power trip is pretty cool. I’m such a cunt.
The people I work with are either really, really cool, or I want to knife them in the soft bit just behind their earlobe. Mostly cool though. And one is so resplendently gorgeous that I keep thinking of ways that I can feel her boobies in a way that she thinks is purely heterosexual.
Fun times.
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Featured Blogger II: Death Chambers
A Legacy of Totalitarianism in Northern Iraq
Michael Totten 
/March 3, 2006
SULEIMANIYA, IRAQ – Suleimaniya is the most liberal city in Iraqi Kurdistan, partly because of its long-standing and deep ties to nearby Iran, one of the most culturally liberal countries in the Middle East. The Iraqi Kurds I met who have been to Iran wanted me to know – and they want you to know, as well – that the distance between the Iranian people and their hideous regime is galactic. I heard the same refrain over and over again: “Persians are just like us.” In other words, they are liberal, secular, pro-Western, and fed up with tyrants. “Iranians love America,” the Kurds told me. “They have nothing to do with Ahmadinejad.” All the way back in 1973 Moula Mustafa Barzani, the famous and beloved leader of the anti-Baathist Kurdish resistance, said he wanted Iraqi Kurdistan to become the 51st American state. Nowhere did Barzani’s fierce campaign resonate more deeply than it did in Suleimaniya. Suli isn’t only the cultural capital of the region – its New York, if you will. It also is the capital of Kurdish nationalism. Saddam Hussein called it “The Head of the Snake.” Read the rest...
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